The Wholesale Forums

[hardwareheroes]

Got sent this in an email link - couldn't stop laughing.


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.


You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!


He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.

[xcat]

Thanks for sharing those HH.

Here's a good one for ya.

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A bloke goes into the Job Centre in London and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.

Interested he goes to learn more "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk.

The Job Centre operator sorts through his files & replies - "Oh yes here it is.

OK the job entails you getting female patients ready for the gynaecologist.

You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their nether regions.

Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair; then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination.

There's an annual salary of £60,000 but you're going to have to go to Newcastle.

"Oh why, is that where the job's based?"


"No - that's the end of the queue".

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[hardwareheroes]

LOL - sometimes you just need a corny joke to draw a smile?


Either that or a pencil

[hardwareheroes]

They keep on comin !

[Mig113]

These are hilarious!!!!! Thanks guys